Date: February 13, 2020 (Midweek Service)
Bible Text: | Steve Damron
- Subtle signs that parents "finally mean business"
- Condition children to respond to your calm voice, rather than have to fly into rage
- People respond to warnings at the degree they believe them
- Repeated instructions are training them to never listen to you
- Few parents find pleasure in carrying out disciplinary consequences, some goad their children with threats of impending doom
- Making threats is the sign of a lazy parent
- Going through with discipline shows the child they are worth your attention and time
Bribing for obedience
- Bribes are given to motivate or buy favor, (Different than rewards)
- There are no good reasons for disobedience [true emergencies are exceptions]
- Don't put yourself in you children's place: Don't make excuses for them before the children can give account for themselves
- Always back authority as a parent, take up your cause with them privately later in the right spirit
Tricking or Manipulating
- Don't make a game of chores and jobs to get your kids to do them
- It may be a quick way to settle a child down, but does not address the problem
T - teaching should be emphasized rather than tormenting
R - responsibility should be developed, and rebellion squashed
A - authority should be united, bad attitudes in parenting avoided
I - independence should be formed, but impetuous and impulsive behavior should not be tolerated
N - never underestimate the power of God in your home
This week, we are continuing the idea of discipline and we are going to be looking at the end of the lesson, you will see it on the handout. We will look at an acronym at the end for training. Then at the beginning we are looking at, I think it is five ideas. One, two, three, four or five, methods of incorrect discipline. So we are going to just dive right into those and we will cover those. We are going to consider a few biblical, fruitful or un-biblical and unfruitful methods of training children. First of all, is repeating instructions and making threats. A lot of parents these days attempt to get cooperation from their children, but they remain frustrated. And why is that? Because, they are repeating instructions over and over and over and over. Now, let me clarify this idea of repeating instructions. Part of training is repeating instructions, that is one method or it is a very important method of teaching. But by repeating instructions it is not within the same minute, right? That is not what we are saying. Anybody that teaches knows repetition is one of the keys to learning.
So throughout the course of life, you are going to have to repeat instructions often. You are going to have to sit your kids down and say, this is why we do some of these things. That happens in a church setting, in a church setting, if we said, you know what, why are they preaching on that again? It could be as simple as, why am I reading my Bible again? I read it last year. I don't get it. Well, some of it is repeated instruction does help, but what we are talking about is within a small window. For instance, 10 minutes, when you have told them to do something, and for instance, you say, I mean it, or, hey, do you want a spanking? Right there, they already should have gotten one. Why? Because they did not do what you said.
So repeating, that is what I mean by repeating instructions. Parents say things like, I am not going to tell you again, but you actually did by saying that. The kid is thinking, sure you will, you have not gotten red in the face yet. Our parents say, I have told you a hundred times, which is the whole problem. That in the last 10 minutes, you have told them a hundred times after the first time. Believe it or not, they listen to you, but you have trained them not to listen. And after maybe the hundred and first time they know, Oh, red face, hair frazzled, hands up in the air. Okay they mean it now. You have trained them not to listen to you by repeating instructions over and over.
So each of those phrases, when you are using those phrases and that is where as a husband and wife, as a team, you should be helping each other on these things of repeating instructions and making threats. There should not be subtle signs that parents finally mean business. If you do not require obedience, the first time you speak, you are forcing your children to look for signs that you are serious and you finally mean what you say, if that makes sense. If you do not require obedience, the first time what you are doing is you are asking your children to watch the smoke signals of when you actually really mean what you say. And it also is kind of like the boy who cried Wolf, they do not really know when you are serious and when you are not. Oh, I thought you were just talking like you normally do.
You say, well, that is mean, but that is what happens in your home because there are lots of things during the day that you say, but you do not follow through with and so they do not know which things you mean. So they are like, Oh, I did not know because half the things you say you really do not mean. As a parent, we need to limit that. I understand that we are human beings and we are going to make mistakes. We can not remember everything. If you are a teenager here, you are like, oh yeah, and so you have a little accounting record of when your parents say things. Well, you are going to have an accounting record to. This is not for teenagers to look at their parents and be like, Oh yeah, they did not remember this five years ago. They did not remember six months ago. Everybody has some lapse of memory. I am not talking about that. What I am talking about is repeatedly, you say stuff and you do not follow through. You are repeating instructions and making threats. For instance, here are other catchphrases to help you to know if this happens like, alright now you are going to get it. So what does that mean? You should have got it. Wait till your father gets home. You keep that up and I will give you something to cry about. If I have to come in there, you are really going to get it. If I have to get up. Or your voice gets harsh, your eyes narrow, you use their middle name, you clench your jaw, you pronounce your word slowly and precisely. Oh, I must obey now. If it is repeated instructions, you are training them to disobey you.
Condition your children to respond to your calm voice. That is what one of the blanks there or may be there. You should condition your children to respond to a calm voice rather than flying into a rage and you scream now you have done it. You pushed me over the edge. And here is the crazy loony person coming at me. There should be a calmness in the home and there should be a calmness in disciplining. Okay. You might be saying, well, you do not know my kids. I do not, but if you have to raise your voice all the time for them to respond back to you, the training is not good. The training is not good, you need to work towards having a calm home and not having angry voices all the time. That is not good. People and children respond well if there is a calmness, when you are talking rather than loud angry yelling. Okay. So, under this point of repeated instructions and making threats, what are some repeated instructions, as far as what are some things I mentioned, some of the catchphrases: I mean it, don't look at me like that, all right now you are going to get it, wait until your father gets home, if I have to come in there, if I have to get up. Those are all little phrases that help you to see, you know, what, I am probably repeating instructions and I am making threats instead of following through. Those all help you to see if that is happening. It is a fact of life that people respond to warnings to the degree that they believe them. I hope that you understand what we are saying. So, if historically there has been no consequence when you have spoken gently, you have communicated to the children that you should not be believed. So calmly, you should be able to say, Hey, I need you to sit down.
When they do not sit down, then discipline them. Especially when the kids are younger. I have taught this often. You know we believe in spanking. I know the world does not. I know Dr. Phil goes, irrate, but I would like for him to send me information on what his kids are doing. Go ahead, Dr. Phil, watch this, send me what your kids are doing. What drugs are they taking? Do they drink? Do they do drugs? Bring it on Dr. Phil, and bring it on psychologists because whether Dr. Phil knows it or not, his study is based on people. I have studied it. I do have degrees, Dr. Phil. And guess what? I have looked at that stuff. And the five big dudes that psychologists back, one of them, was an occultist. Eat that as my pastor used to say, wrap that up and put it in your pipe and smoke it. I am like, what in the world, here is an occultist that you have studied. And do you think that did not affect his thinking about psychology and how people are raised. You bet it did, there was somebody talking to him the whole time. The other guy was a known pervert of the big five in psychology. Another guy was a massive pedophile pervert. These guys go to universities and study from them. And they are going to tell us about how to raise our children and that spanking is evil. You know what I am going to do. I am going to go to God's word. It is tested. It is proven above these perverts and above these occultist and above the Satan worshipers.
And so we go to the Bible and spanking is the bread and butter. As I call it, spanking is the bread and butter for disciplining. It is not out of control. Especially when they are younger, you say, Hey, go to sit down. Normally in our house, when they were younger it was a paint stick, they make the heavier paint stick. You just walk over one smack in the back of the legs. Guess what? One smack in the back of the legs. And they knew, Mom and Dad, they meant that. Yes. So guess what they had to learn to do, listen to Mom and Dad's voice. Because all of us listen to somebody, and you need to train your children to listen to your voice, to hear your voice. So that is the repeated instructions over and over. What you are doing is training them to listen. Not you know what over time, eventually I have to do this. No, after the first time you said it, but that does take some training. Just so you know, the ones that have younger ones, that is not going to happen when they are two. Alright. And that is where some people get all worried, I don't understand it. My three-year-old is not sitting up. He is three. You do not sit up straight. You are asleep every Sunday morning too. You know what I mean? And you expect your kid to be better than you. So here we have to understand, you know at three, at four, at five, at six, you are going to need the repeated instructions. But to repeat instructions, it is not within a 10 minute window, it is over years and months of saying, no, that is not how we sit in church. It can be that calm. It does not have to be crazy.
Now, there are some times that your kids may push your button. I understand that, and there is no problem, your voice may be raised and they may think you are yelling and they may think you are out of control, but it is not out of control. It is just, you know, what when you pick up a knife and go after your sister. Oh yeah, there is going to be a little heat coming at you. All right. There is going to be a little intensity. Just like when, you know, in today's society when a police officer tackles a guy because he is pointing a gun. They are like, he was not violent toward you or pointing a gun. You dork, what do you think is going to happen? He pushed me down, yeah, I am glad he did. I hope he jumped down your neck too. That is what I think some of us do not understand. Do not let your little 12-year-old, or 10-year-old, or eight-year-old intimidate you. Some of you are scared of your own 14-year-olds or 12-year-olds or 10-year-olds, or five-year-olds. When you say the repeated instructions over and over what you are doing is making them come to the point that they are never going to listen to you. And it is amazing because In your home that happens. And then they go to a place that maybe it is at school and within a little bit of time, they are not getting many demerits. You know why? It is the structure. So develop structure in your home. It may take some time, but develop that structure.
The other area that we said, repeated instructions and then we talked about making threats. Ineffective parenting is not only characterized by repeating instructions, but also by making threats. Few parents and I would include myself in this, few parents find pleasure in carrying out disciplinary consequences. That is kind of normal. If you are like, oh, I hope he disobeys, you are weird. There is something wrong with you. So few parents are like, yeah you know I have not given a good whipping in a while, let me get a warm up here. There is something wrong with you if you are wanting to give your kid a beat down all the time. It is very normal that few parents find pleasure in carrying out disciplinary consequences. So they goad their children into compliance by intense notification of coming trouble. They threaten their children rather than discipline them. A threat of impending doom is so much more peaceful than making a big scene at the woodshed, but that is not the biblical way to do it. All right, that is why we always go back to the Bible and the Bible is not filled with idle threats. You might say, where is the scripture on that? It is our God, God the Father, He never carried out idle threats. What he says he does and that is all through the scripture, all through the scripture. God is not a God that lies, all through scripture you see that, and He is our example. He is an example for us so that we are not making idle threats. Actually when God said something was going to happen, it did. Sometimes he offered grace or he offered mercy. And in your home, I believe as a father it is a good thing to offer mercy sometime. Why? Because that is what God extends to us sometimes. There is nothing wrong with that. Some people think that it is evil. No, that is godlike. As long as you explain it and you are showing through scripture, Hey, this is what God extends to us sometimes. It is okay.
We can not be making threats. Just so you know, making threats is a sign of a lazy parent, making threats is lazy parenting. When we stop everything and we go and we deal with the children, it sends the message to them that they are worth the trouble. That is what it does. Actually, when you are busy and you are doing things and you stop and you say, you know what, we are going to deal with this. What is it sending them? They are very important. That is what it sends them and they, whether you know it or not, they subconsciously perceive that they are valuable. That is why it is important. Examples of making threats: If you don't do such and such, you are going to be in big trouble. You better do what you are told or else. Want me to go get the paddle? Here I go. Here I go. What is this acting class, and we are in a play? Those are all symptoms of making threats to the kids. Here I go, no the paddles here, bud. No, it is here, it is on. I already said it. Okay, I am getting the paddle. All right I am coming now with the paddle. If you have not obeyed, it is swinging. You know what, it is hitting. Another good one is I am counting to ten... One, two, three. If I get to 10 or a hundred counting by twos... two, four, six. Let's count by threes... three, six,... No. This is not kindergarten with you know, math class. Those are all ideas of repeating instructions and making threats.
Number two, then bribing for obedience, bribing for obedience. The difference between a bribe and a reward is that bribes are given to motivate behavior, and a reward is for something for when they have done good. You are saying, Hey, that is great. A bribe though, is you are trying to buy their behavior. So an example, we will pay you a dollar now and another, if you get a good report from the babysitter. In some sense that is a bribe. If you behave in the grocery cart, I will get you a treat. When we check out what is that? So really, they need to behave in the grocery cart, no matter what you get them, that is what they need to do. And they need to learn to behave in the grocery cart. No matter if you get them a treat or not. We have all seen it, a kid screaming in the store. No, no, no, no. Oh, no.
A great example, and Jake probably does not remember this. We were out, this is actually a positive for Jake. We were out climbing out West one time and, we got tagged with another man and his son. So we were doing pretty good and actually Jake was doing really good and I was not. We were getting done and then his little boy, had to repel down. So we are repelling down. And all of a sudden the kid was up there and they were just standing there. So we were down and Jake and I are sitting here and the boy's grandma was with us waiting. We started talking, she was from Germany or something like that. And we just got talking and it was 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes. Then she looks up and, she goes, Oh, that boy. And this is grandma. And I am like, well, what is going on? She goes, Oh, he is such a wuss or something like that. And she goes that dad, can not get him to do anything. And so then finally, the boy came down and the dad comes over to us. Oh, I could not get him to do anything. I had to promise him some type of new video game. We looked it up later. It was like a $700 video game that he had to promise him to come down the thing. You know what? I would have wrapped him and thrown them off. All right. Or walk down. But that is the idea of bribing, you do not do that. Who is controlling the situation. Who is in charge of the home, the little kid then, he is controlling everything. So what is next? I mean, he is going to hold you hostage. He is going to be saying give me the keys to the car. Pretty soon you are going to have to hand over your paycheck, right? You gotta be careful of this bribing. If you sit still and smile for the photographer, I will buy you an ice cream when we get done. Actually sit still. And afterwards you could have that in mind, but you do not say that. That is a bribe. That is not how you train your children.
And actually grandparents sitting here, you think about it too, because when you do that all the time, guess what? You send them back home to mom and dad, and you just ruined half the things that they have been trying to teach. So you quit doing it, grandma and grandpa. Or else mom and dad understand this that when grandma and grandpa have them and they are doing it, make sure to tell them, Hey, you know what, grandma and grandpa can do that. Because guess what? That is not their job, that is grandma and grandpa, they cheat, they do everything, they ruin you. Alright. That is what grandma and grandpas do. But in my house, mom and dad, I am the mean ugly ogre. And I am going to make you behave because you ain't living with grandma and grandpa. Grandma and grandpa at some point are like, please take them, right. Why? Because grandma and grandpas, are not supposed to raise children, grandma and grandpas have grandchildren and they send them back. So mom and dad's do not bribe for obedience. We need to be careful of that.
Thirdly, allowing excuses., Children must learn as a basic rule that there are no good reasons for disobedience. Now, if there is an emergency or there is a fire, you know what, okay? But when confronted with their defiance, they should not be permitted to offer an excuse. Parents you need to learn that. The parent who allows excuses for disobedience, permits the child to avoid the consequences of his actions and inadvertently you are encouraging misbehavior. A child, whose excuses are routinely accepted, develops victim mentality, eventually believing that nothing is ever their fault. Why? Because they always have an excuse. We live in that society, but in your home, stop that, stop that trend. Do not allow excuses like, Oh but..., Oh, you do not understand. No, shut it. I told you to do it and you did not do it. It is teaching responsibility. Parents who do not want to think badly of their children may make up an excuse for them before they even investigate the problem. Okay? They get in trouble at school and you automatically believe their story that their teacher is out to get them. Before they have the chance to offer an excuse you presume their innocence and suggest to them an alibi. What are you doing? You are fostering this. And I guarantee it. We have had a lot of discussions in our home about this and my kids feel slighted. They feel hurt and they are damaged, because guess what Mom and dad always back the school, and they know it. I can hear the words in our family discussions - - - authority. They know it. Authority is going to be backed.
Why? Because it is biblical. You say and they know... is authority always, right? Only God is. Authority is not always right. You know that. Can your boss make a mistake? Yes. But even as an employee, if your boss makes a mistake. You have to approach them with the right spirit. And if you approach them in a wrong spirit, you are not godly. I do not care if it is in the world, it is not godly. Why? Because God established authority. And when you start making excuses for even their rebellion against authority, what are you doing? What you are doing is you are allowing them to, pretty soon, they are going to be out protesting the police. That is where it started believe it or not. It started in homes of parents that said to their children. Yeah. They are out to get you. That is where it started. And now we have police officers that are getting beat up. We have all kinds of protests, basically you can protest anything. You know what that is? That is anarchy. And God establishes authority and authority needs to be backed. It is not saying authority is always right. There is this idea out there that well, authority, is not always right. Yeah. Why? Because you are one of them and you are an idiot too. You make mistakes and so do I, but it does not mean that God did not establish authority. Nowhere in the Bible do you see that God says you do not have to listen to authority because they are sinners. Where is that in scripture? Actually what you see is that you obey them. Children obey their parents is in the Bible, and also, all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. Guess who is involved in the "all" have sinned? The parents. So God knows that the parents have sinned, but yet he still tells children to obey.
You are like, wow, I can not believe that God is unfair like that. Well then take it up with God when you get to heaven, if you get there. With that attitude, you may not. Breeding rebellion in our home is never a good thing. And making excuses is allowing rebellion to start to fester. So you do not need to be making excuses. Upon confrontation, if there was an emergency, all right. If there is an emergency, I have no problem with it. For instance. Yeah. I pushed my sister. I did not mean to hurt her, but she was about to be run over by a car. Oh, you know what? I will let that slide. Yes, you are not supposed to push your sister. I understand those types of things. But how many times has that happened? I am pretty sure that that is probably a rare occurrence. So hey, if it is an emergency in your home, let them explain it, but do not accept excuses. Okay, for instance, let me give you just a couple of things as we finish up this idea of excuses. Parents accept excuses because we put ourselves in our children's place and we know we would want mercy. Parents accept excuses, because we think we are too busy to stop and bring proper discipline. Parents accept excuses, because we are deceived about our children's nature and we fall prey to their manipulation. Remember the Bible says, that their heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, just like yours. That is human nature. Another reason that we like to make excuses, we want to believe the best of our children. So we are more willing to allow them to cast the blame on somebody else and shirk responsibility. We are lazy and we choose our own comfort over our children's needs.
The fourth, a wrong way to discipline is tricking or manipulating. Since the goal of child training is to help a child learn to subdue his self-will, parents must take every opportunity to subdue it. Tricking a child, is not the way to do it. One day he will be too smart to trick and his parents will have a smart strong-willed child on their hands who resists their parenting efforts. An example of tricking a child when your authority is not sufficient to motivate your child to pick up their toys, you make a game of it. Oh, hey, look, this is a game. Let's all play, That is a basketball hoop. We are all going to..... Guess what you are doing. You are manipulating them. Eventually your kid is going to figure that out. All right.
I know some of you, you may say, Aw, that is what I do. I am sorry. I do not agree with it. Why? Because I do not believe in tricking and manipulating people to get what I want. And I believe the Bible backs that up. I think we need to be upfront and straightforward with our children. Not tricking them, manipulate them, making up games all the time. When is that going to stop? Are you going to have to do that at 18 years old? Hey, Jake guess what, we got to clean the roomy. All right and do the laundry. At some point he is like, wow, you are a freak. You are like, it is not working anymore. Okay, I just do not like the idea of making games out of obedience. It is not a game to me. It is not a trick. It is God's word and God's word, is not a game or a trick. When they will not obey your specific directions to go into their room for a nap, you play like, oh, it is an airplane. Oh, you ended in bed, now go to sleep. It should be get in there. Part of the manipulating and tricking is because it is work isn't it? I am sorry, but in our society this is one of our problems. One of our problems is our society is lazy and sluggardly, and slothful. Somebody I was talking with, I can not remember, if it was in the last week or the last month I was talking with somebody and telling them a shortfall in our society. I wish somebody would sit down with young people and tell them before they go off and just shack up that, hey, listen, having children is a responsibility. Think about this, think about the responsibility. It is on you then to train up the children to lead and guide them. You are responsible to take care of their needs. We are responsible for all the financial responsibilities.
Yes, all of that is on you. And then also you are responsible to help them become a good citizen. You are responsible in our situation, as Christians, we are responsible to rear them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. So you need to know what you are getting into. And that is nowhere taught, it is nowhere thought. It is just like, we just love each other. Well, hey, that love, if it ends up in marriage, it is going to end up in children. Somebody needs to sit down and say, hey, with children you have to think about this. It is a responsibility. And our society has no idea of that. And then you come up and you are like, oh, what am I supposed to do? And so we are tricking our kids. We are manipulating our kids. And why are we doing that? Because we have no clue what we are doing. No clue, making up some silly game to get them to crawl into bed. Instead of taking the time to say, hey, you know what? This might take me a few weeks, but my daughter and my son is going to figure out that in my home, what I say, I mean. It does not have to be yelling. It does not have to be screaming, but it is not going to be some little trick or manipulation instead of giving them a direct order to go to bed. You manipulate them by making a game out of it. Hey, which Teddy bear do you want? Which doll do you want? When they will not cooperate you create a contest to gain compliance, challenging them to get their room clean within a time limit. You are always coming up with some motivational idea instead of just plain obedience. And this is what all of us know, I am not saying that you can not have some rewards sometime. There should be some rewards sometime, but basic training is just this, I obey because it is right to do. That is basic.
That is, what is missing in our society today. I have got to get some treat or what is in it for me. You know, what is in it for me. God told me to do it. And that is, what is in it for you. God told you to do it and you do not have to get a kudos or a pat on the back. That is so much in our society. What am I going to get out of this? What do you mean, what are you going to get out of it? Maybe as a Christian, you are supposed to serve others. Maybe serving others is the reward. Maybe do what Christ said. And he that is the greatest of you will be the servant of all. So get on your knees and start washing people's feet because that is what our Christ did. He was a servant. It was not about Him. Actually, we can, we should have our Savior's mentality and that is not my will, but thine be done. That is the attitude that is there and that must be transferred to our children.
The last wrong method is distracting. Distracting children does not shape their will at all it only diffuses the tension of the moment. Distracting, maybe a quick way to settle down a distraught or angry child, but it cannot be a substitute for discipline. For example, a three-year-old is throwing a fit may forget that he is upset if an animated parent points out the window. All right. So here they are screaming and all that and you are like, Oh, look out their, oh that is a bird, and then all of a sudden they are distracted. You know what they were, they were just a brat. They are screaming in the car. So again, the little paint stick, whack. That is what happens when your mouth opens in the car and yells, you are going to get an owie. Instead of something to distract. What are we doing? All of these things are basically not discipline. It is an incorrect method I believe. It is not a straightforward method of discipline. It is not the bread and butter, and the bread and butter is-- spanking and it should be, it starts with training.
So let me, let me give you just the acronym here and next year, when we come back to the subject, we will delve into it for probably two weeks again on the idea of training. So on training, let me give you, the T, teaching should be emphasized rather than tormenting the child. Teaching. If you are, going to discipline, there must be times of teaching. There must be times of formation and helping a child know. A child does not know without you teaching them and that is time. I am sorry, parents, I am sorry, dads and moms. You are like, Oh, my word it just sounds like time. Then you should not have had kids because guess what your job is biblically to train them, teach them all the time. That is our job. We can whine about it. We can cry about it. Some of it is our society. Our society has made a bunch of sissified men that whine and cry about taking any responsibility for anything. If anything is tough, they are like, ah, I have to do that. I have to work. Yeah.
It amazed me, I was talking with Pastor Cholangio because I was trying to get some ideas about institutes and what the average man is doing? And it was just my impression that they have to work so much. I said, all right, so Pastor Zulu and Pastor Sean, so what kind of work ethic is here? I mean, it just seems like they are busy and all that. And they both looked at me and Pastor Sean said, Oh, the average man here works maybe 35 hours a week. I said, well, what? And then I was like, well, yeah. I mean, I look around and the country's a whole. There is nothing good in it. And it made sense. I was like, well, yeah, guess what? It is a sorry country. So they do not work well. Guess what is going to happen to you if you keep this mentality? Guess what is going to happen to America if all we do is whine about hard work? Yeah. We will end up like Zambia, who basically can not function. They can not function. They can barely get a building up. You know, why? You got to work, right? That is teaching. Teaching is work. It is study. It is learning. It is reading. It is your job. You do not just drop them off here. It is your job, dad, it is your job, mom.
The R -- responsibility should be developed and rebellion should be squashed. You must slowly build responsibility into the structure of your home. And that should start I believe at about three years old. Responsibility can be as simple as a little garbage can. I want that garbage can. You are going to have to train them, but it is teaching them responsibility. It should start in your home. There should be little things starting at I believe about three years old or four years old that every kid should have responsibility in the home. What are you teaching them? In our home we all carry a little bit of the weight. It is teaching responsibility and rebellion should be squashed.
The letter A -- authorities should be united in the home and bad attitudes and parenting avoided, authority needs to be united. What do we mean by that? Mom and dad you are a team, that means you spend time together talking about it. You spend hours talking about it and it is very important. If husband and wife, if you are not talking about the home and the kids and different things, then who is? Nobody else is, this should not be rocket science here. Nobody else is going to care for your kids more than you. If the teachers care more for the kids than you do that is, sorry. Because you should be all in, on caring for your children. And that means biblical the biblical guidance. And so you mean to be united thinking about that? No, it should not be a divided home.
The letter I -- independence should be formed, but impetuous, impulsive behaviors should not be tolerated.
The letter N - never underestimate the power of God and the work of the Holy spirit in your home. Get on your knees, bathe your home in prayer and beg God to give you wisdom. He will intervene for you when you are lacking. I know it because I have seen it in my home. I have seen it in other homes because sometimes you are just at a loss and we are frail, we are humans, but God can step in and do that, which is sometimes impossible or unthinkable. Why? Because it is God and we are His children. And sometimes we stop and say, God, I am at a loss here and I do not know what to do. And Lord you know, I kind of flubbed it up a little bit. Do you know what you will find. God is there. Never underestimate the power of God and the work of the Holy spirit in the home.